Julie’s fifty – so I’ve been told
\nWhat’s she trying to do? Make me look old?
\nBeing fifty is so ‘last year,’
\nBut when I spoke she wouldn’t hear.
\n‘be like the rest,’ I said, ‘and you’ll be fine’
\n‘Ten more years at thirty nine.’
\nBut she always had her way –
\nGot married on a Saturday –
\nThe day that Chelsea played away –
\nWell, I mean, what can you say?
\nDidn’t I look a right old fool
\nWhen they lost to Liverpool.
\nFootball never was her thing –
\nCouldn’t compete with the Highland fling;
\nThat’s John, and what they had in common
\nWhen superman met wonderwoman
\nWent on and led to married bliss –
\nI hoped there’d be no more fixtures missed.
\nThen Andrew had to come along –
\nHe’s the writer – oh muse, hear my song.
\nResult? A lot of travelling to do
\nOn Virgin rattlers to Crewe.
\nAfter a while we hoped for peace, until –
\nAnother sibling came along – that’s Will;
\nBut this Will, he’d howl and squall
\nUntil someone went out to kick a ball.
\nWe saw the writing on the wall,
\nOur whole World seemed about to fall.
\nThen education came along
\nWith its old alluring song –
\nCome with me – come with me
\nTo the University
\nAnd there you’ll get your degree.
\nYou’d think she’d have something more to do
\nAt the age of forty two.
\nNo imagination at all;
\nWhat’s wrong with the bingo hall?
\nBut there you are – one just can’t reach her.
\nAnd guess what? Now she’s a teacher.
\nI ask you in despair
\nIt’s just not fair.
\nI now see no way out – just complete surrender
\nAnd admit to be a paid up member
\nof Julie’s fan club, gathered here
\nTo celebrate her fiftieth year.
\nSo Julie, on this auspicious day
\nWith your friends and loved ones here to say
\nThose fifty years as from your birth
\nYou’ve filled with fifty years of worth.<\/p>\n
May 2005<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Julie’s fifty – so I’ve been told What’s she trying to do? Make me look old? Being fifty is so ‘last year,’ But when I spoke she wouldn’t hear. ‘be like the rest,’ I said, ‘and you’ll be fine’ ‘Ten … Continue reading