Who but old lags
Could steal all the Mags
From the Pensao Retiro select?
Just who it can be
is a mystery to me
We are none of us really suspect.

But I wouldn’t eat lunch
With a pilferer of PUNCH,
And I have less than no time
For the taker of TIME.

If I hate the most
The purloiner of POST
I consider a wretch
The stealer of SKETCH.

I should like to strike terror
In the remover of MIRROR,
Whilst one scarcely less shady
Is the looter of LADY. (Do we have LADY? And if not, why not?)

I must admit
That looking at the antics of those in the Illustrated LONDON NEWS
Nearly drives me to booze
But I would not refuse
A good strong hempen noose
To fit the gent
Who is trying to prevent
Me from reading just what I choose.

Although it’s a shame
And the people to blame
I view less in wrath than in sorrow;
Whilst I’m here all alone
And before they are gone
I’ll borrow some Mags ’til tomorrow.

(Written by Hop-a-long on 30 June 1957 re missing Magazines from the Club in Brazil)

September 1994