While you were emolliently gentle yet firm
I was confrontational and needed to learn;
You finessed while I attacked.
From this amalgam came results
And I could see in retrospect
How you shaped my prideful, stubborn ways,
But cannot see if you learned from me,
But like to think so,
Although I was black and white
And you were more subtly made,
Not showing your hand
As maybe you never knew how
Because changing for you was natural
While with me, it was agony.

‘You are a legend in your lifetime,’
That’s what I said to you
Because I had no words to show
How deep was my love for you.
Not then, not now.
But you knew and that was all I asked,
And so we could enjoy three Worlds
Our family, our long hours together,
And with each other silent with our inner thoughts.
What is salvation, if not that?
To love and be loved
And yet, to realise that nothing is forever
In this strange World.
Against all my intellectual leanings
I do believe in salvation –
Not on our terms, not in our time
But everything is meaningful
And we have to wait and see.

Until I realised I was a flexible soul
Encased in defiant armour that I had to shed
But never could have alone
Needing your tender companionship,
Your example and your love.
It came that I the master
Laid down my weapons of the past
To put you before else, even my life
So my love for you was complete.
Complete? Well, yes and no;
My intellectual side held back the emotional side
From pouring out my heart to you
But you knew. You knew.

January 2017